Handbook of The Insecure

Whether we choose to admit it or not our experiences as children shape our adult life in so many ways. Most of our insecurities as adults are usually deeply seated vaults, closed in the farthest regions of our minds. To some, it may be matters concerning abuse ( all forms of it as a child) or even neglect from a parent, abandonment, poverty the list goes on and on. For most insecure people, life in itself can be daunting, such inadequacies can even develop into depression. Interestingly, most of the time, insecure individuals are excellent at masking who they really are, because let’s face it, not many people are remotely interested in how hard your childhood was. Most often, the overwhelming jungle out there called the world, where only the strongest and adaptable species survive does not have time for you so, despite all your feelings of inadequacies, you shove it down somewhere and learn to survive.


Let’s not forget that we all do have some form of insecurities but some do have it worse than others. Interestingly, some insecure individuals channel this inadequacy into facing what distresses them which inadvertently challenges them to pursue projects of interest to help them deal with it. For some, these insecurities get so bad that it can plunge them in anxiety, suicide, fear of even their own failure, fear of judgment, fear of being different or even fear of the unknown. It can be shocking to find out that the life of the party can be the most insecure person in the room, though most often we assume that loud people with so much blasé cannot experience insecurities, this can be a wrong assumption as that attitude itself is a manifestation of their insecurities. Insecurities are not necessarily bad because I believe it makes us aware of ourselves as individuals that we are vulnerable, we aren’t perfect and we can only do the best we can within our abilities as humanly possible. And that it is ok, to be yourself despite what others may think or expect. Besides, our pursuit for validation and acceptance in the mold of what is upheld by the general society can sometimes worsen the situation. As humans one of the unique things that define us is that we are all the same but also, we are all different. We all have certain idiosyncrasies that make us unique. Let us embrace it instead of shutting it down just to feel accepted.


One of the ways we can gradually embrace our insecurities and still go on ahead to live successfully (success here doesn’t necessarily equate to wealth but rather try to be the best you can be where ever you find yourself not based on validation but pursuing interest for the love of it) life is about living the best version of ourselves. It simply means being you and consequently embracing your individuality. Dealing with insecurities is not a one-day job it doesn’t mean you kill it but rather how to use it to create a strength, not a weakness. I’m no expert but these are some skills we can all learn. Making a conscious effort to reaffirm by use of words and practice; this can be achieved by appreciating all the unique qualities you have. Challenging yourself by doing the things you care about whether it has been done before or not does not really matter, but rather ask yourself what different twist are you bringing to the table, whether people view it as special or otherwise, at the end of the day you made an effort and that really matters.


Quit worrying be a doer. Get rid of bad energy; surrounding yourself with good energy it is very important to avoid people who put you down. Do not forget: there are people who are so insecure yet they put others down just so they feel good about themselves. It is not your responsibility to make up for whatever makes them so mean. Learn to say no and stand for yourself when the energy of such people is negative. Most of our dissatisfaction in life stems from the fact that we want other people’s lives or dreams not our own which makes us miserable when we don’t achieve it instead, pursue your own dreams. Let go off all the difficulties experienced in childhood they do not define you. Internalizing such experiences keep us down it becomes the voice in our head that pushes us to the edge of self-destruction, abuse of substances and even abusing others as well. All these manifest into a continuous cycle of hate and distrust. Have some dignity, have some respect for yourself, do the things that are important to you not what is important to others. And more importantly, never give up on the things you believe in it is always worth it. Be good to yourself which results in being good to others.


There is no clear-cut handbook to resolving insecurities it is a constant process and it first begins with self-acceptance; be proud of the body you were born into and making the best out of it.

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